My daughter is in porn

Added: Nikiya Tomlinson - Date: 25.12.2021 02:46 - Views: 45263 - Clicks: 9650

My elder daughter — a beautiful, intelligent, loving year-old woman — is a porn star and I don't know how to deal with it. My husband died suddenly 10 years ago and since then it has just been me and my three children. I had a couple of serious conversations with my daughter about why I consider porn to be my daughter is in porn very bad career choice, how dangerous it is, etc.

My words seemed to fall on deaf ears. She explained that she used a stage name to protect her identity, loved doing the films, and attended an STD clinic once a month. I really don't know how to respond. So far, I've hung in there in the belief that it is better to keep the doors of communication open. My biggest problem in coping with all this is isolation. I miss my husband very much — he's not here to discuss it and, for obvious reasons, I don't want to tell many people. My sister is livid and thinks I am too soft on my daughter. She thinks I should tell her that what she is doing is unacceptable and that she is not to have contact with the family until she sorts herself out.

I agonise over whether my sister is right, but my daughter is an adult and I can't dictate how she lives her life. Moreover, while I seriously disapprove of her lifestyle, my daughter is in many other ways exactly the kind of child I would have hoped to raise — compassionate, trustworthy, self-aware, loyal, dependable and very loving towards me and her siblings.

Am I simply being selfish, wanting to keep doors open between us? Anon, via. What do you want to achieve? I'm guessing that you want your daughter to be safe, that you want her to come to you if she's in trouble and to know that, no matter what, you're there for her and you love her. You won't achieve any of these things if you shut the door on her.

You don't want her to work in pornography, but, as you have accurately concluded, you cannot just say this and make it happen. What she does is outside your control. So no, you are not being selfish — quite the opposite. You are being an incredible mother who realises that you don't love only when they do what you want them to.

I'm sure your sister is well meaning, but you need to ignore her. Like so many people, she thinks that just because you tell someone to act a certain way, they will. Real life doesn't work like that, and neither should it. I'm not going to pretend that working in pornography is an ideal job. It isn't. Neither am I, here, commenting on the pornography industry in general, just your situation. The sense I get is that you wish things were different, but something in you seems to trust your daughter in her decision. However, you seem unsure and need to bounce this off someone else.

Yet you cannot because your husband is not here, and this is a subject of which you feel you cannot speak. I also sense that you really feel you should be more outraged, because convention dictates it. But children come before ideology. Please try to regard this as more transition than destiny.

I'll bet my mortgage she won't be working in porn when she's 30 or even But nor does it mean routinely ranting at her — a quiet statement of your differences is enough — while stressing she will always be your very much loved daughter, the majority of whose behaviour is reassuringly wonderful. Short of my daughter is in porn her to coventry, you lack any power to control her anyway. Even if your husband were alive, this would remain true. Please think about recasting your problem as 'Where do I get support for me? me if you would like the full version of Phillip's advice.

He also suggested looking at the website itsgoodtotalk. Annalisa regrets she cannot enter into personal correspondence. Follow Annalisa on Twitter AnnalisaB. Ask Annalisa Barbieri Pornography. Problem solved. My sister says I should cut off my daughter because she's a porn star. I disapprove of her job but don't know what to do.

Annalisa Barbieri. Anon, via What do you want to achieve? Reuse this content.

My daughter is in porn

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